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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in Eric's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
7:52 pm
maybe one of the reasons i don't quite fit in here, is...
That i don't already have an opinion for every and any thing. When someone says something, i take stock of it and take time to formulate a response, but most people here, it seems like they already have these arguments, ideas, whatever, already embedded in their minds. I think, also, many people here believe in what they believe in, and do not want to change, because they like themselves the way they are. Their ideas are so firmly cemented that they build idea structures onto them just like pulling a flag up a flagpole. They just have this construct that applies to virtually anything. I feel like, i create a foundation for every thought, and begin building slowly, first wading through the mush to be sure it's sound, and then beginning to grow the idea and its consequences from there.
maybe i'm just slow and stupid.
Monday, September 20th, 2004
9:09 pm
Friday, September 17th, 2004
10:21 pm
It stands
facing the abyss
longing into the infinity
a match made in a void
``````committed by a void
boldly stepping forward
blazing brilliance into the void

````````````````````````An archangel steps down
````````````````````````tries to fill a void
````````````````````````to quench the thirst of
````````````````````````the lost loves - friends
````````````````````````Gone to self-actualize

the archangel's hopes and
dreams - bestowed upon it,
flow through it - purge it.

an archangel leaves it
the hopes and dreams fly
away too. it is alone
and lonely

staring into the void

it is reborn
as it. and one.

it has no worries
no fears no longing
it is happy,
yet feels not happy
feels not glad, not hope
only contentedness

the contentedness of being
wed with a void.
Thursday, September 9th, 2004
5:13 pm
Birds flit through the thicket
~~~~Moving to hide
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~hiding by moves
Lo, the thicket thins,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and birds grow more numerous
~~~~~~~fighting for snarls
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~where to calm themselves.

The seasons change, the leaves turn gold
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and die away
The blinding white sky of Winter sky settles in
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and rain and snow
The birds now, are leaves
~~~~~~The their own camouflage

Yet they move, they flit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oblivious to change
The wind roars about them
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and still they grasp it not
Change has come upon them,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~though they did not seek it
Uncomprehending, they do not change
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~until a raptor picks one out of
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~their Sanctuary.
Blindly they fly about,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~devouring – consuming – until
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~danger lurks again.

One by one they are picked off,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Waiting til Spring come and
~~~~~~~~~~~~Foliage frees them from flight.
Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
7:33 pm

Friends fall away, receding – diminishing ever
Do they leave forever, as skin that is shed?
Are they like fireflies that flicker into being,
````````````Just when I need them most?
Will they remember me,
`````````````````````or was I just an annual, a
Treasured flower, whose memory
````````````````````````withers away,
````````not to be rejuvenated?

If we should chance to meet again, will they remember me?
```````And then, am I shy, timid, unremarkable
`````````or honourable, intelligent but eccentric?
`````````````Will they see, in me, the failures,
````````````````````````````the plans gone awry,
``````````or something I don’t quite see myself?

Whoever they remember, was I
```````````````````````Am I
```````````````````````Will I be that person?
````Is that who I am? Flashbacks in everyone’s
personal movie?

Who could I be, what could I be, but the impressions I leave?
Friday, August 6th, 2004
8:54 am
so, this is a poster that has been hanging on a wall of my house for as long as i've been in this house:


Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be Yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength or spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with god, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labours, and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

For this in the original verse (i assume) try http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html.
Thursday, August 5th, 2004
5:52 pm
raise your hand if you knew the Church of Scotland seems to be the first organization to discover the benefits of sleep deprivation in extracting confessions from "witches" about 1600
Friday, July 30th, 2004
6:29 pm
Your LJ Friend RPG Party by Jennifurret
Obligatory Love Interestnostalgic
Macho Guy who is really a softyetherealsiren
Mysterious Girl with Hidden Pastskittmit
Annoying Little Kidnightlysentinel
The Perfect One that Diescalli_wulffe
Badguy gone Goodmornie_utulie
The Androgynous Looking Onecipherswarm
Pointless Fanservice Hot Onetwinofmunin
Furry Useless Mascotanterus
And the real villian is...justsilver
Quiz created with MemeGen!

So i'm home from CA. I guess i'll follow the trend and post AP scores... 3 german 5 gov't 4 eng 5 calc BC [5 AB subscore} 4 physics C Mech, cause he didn't teach us rotational inertia, and 5 bio... really zoned out on the first english essay..

What kind of villian would you be?
LJ Username  
Favorite color 
Do you root for good, or for awesome? 
Your trusted second in command justsilver
Your arch nemesis, aka; fussel
Evil appearance The hardened warrior, you may be evil, but you have dignity and honor. Armed with a sword and an assortment of other archaic weapons, you are a dark blade master, with your long sleeveless coat made of worn material.
What you;ve done so far You got to where you are to cool way. You spent a good chunk of your life helping people, being good, wise, and kind. All of this was simply to get the fools to trust you. heh heh heh...
Your evil powers/skills Charm and trickery. Such as appearing to be someone's friend, only to get some trust, then you slaughter them.
Chances of taking over/destroying world - 80%
This fun quiz by tea_chan - Taken 4297 Times.
New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
6:53 pm
interesting article
don't know why it's in science and not health, though..
Wednesday, July 7th, 2004
3:23 pm
Does anyone have a copy of a movie called MindWalk, or even seen it?


I'd like to borrow/buy it off you, heh.
I've seen bits of it on cable.... It reminds me of every vacation i've ever taken to california, because my father and his father are apt to argue exactly like people in that movie.... my vacations feel more and more like philosophical-political arguments all the time.
Friday, July 2nd, 2004
11:38 pm
"Why We Need the Draft Back"
by Noel Koch


This guy's primary, in fact only, argument for the draft is that it promotes the mixing of people of different socio-ethnic-economic backgrounds, in essence, he advocates the use of the draft as one of the sole ways to promote empathy betwixt americans of different classes. This is good. The sticky point is what they are engaged in while they learn to empathize. These people, if drafted, will be drafted for the specific duty of Killing Terrorists, killing people. They will Protect, Defend, Discriminate between people who "Deserve" to live and those who do not. That is the essence of the armed forces during a war. People in your army are you Brothers, people not in the army, people shooting at you, are enemies.

This is a Perversity. To learn to empathize through killing is the most deplorable reason i have ever heard to reinstate the draft. Perhaps if people were drafted for the specific purpose of urban renewal and other public works and projects which will actually help other people in America while learning to empathize with them, this reason would not be so distasteful. Even a draft for the purpose of building infrastructure, like schools, in places we occupy -- Iraq, Afghanistan, and also places like Bosnia or Lybia.

Before turning to the military to provide these socialistic services, however, perhaps we should turn to civilian services, like those developed under FDR to build up the nation's infrastructure, especially the cities in today's America.

Empathy and killing are not compatible American Ideals (or even acceptable euphamismistic ideals).
7:13 pm
For the terrorists in iraq and other states, the best demand to be fulfilled to release a hostage would be to require the U.S., or whichever country the hostage is a national of, to withdraw maybe 5, or even a single person from Iraq, who is never to return, and send her or him back to their homeland. Only then would they release their hostage.

This is a much more reasonable demand, and, moreover, carries a much higher psychological impact. "they want us to pull everyone out, in 5 days? That's impossible" and undoable. A single person, though, exiled back to his homeland, is a much more reasonable demand, and one which people can empathize with. People see a crowd or a formation and say, "Hey, look, a bunch of people" but they see one person, or imagine one person, in Iraq, who, if she/he simply went home, would save another's life.

Some may say, there's no way for them to know whether their will has been done -- whether a person has truly left and will never return. But i tell you, that is irrelevant. The point is to show other people 1. they are reasonable people 2. willing to negotiate 3. human beings.

However, as this policy does not seem to fit with what the iraqi "insurgents" are doing, it may be reasonable to postulate the insurgents are not iraqis but rather foreign agents sent to destabilize Iraq and discredit America.
Monday, June 28th, 2004
7:44 pm
Report to the Forest
a used shirt lays on the floor
the color of old pine needles
A dresser broods in the corner-
cut from the wood of the forest.
Within is hidden a weird collection;
leaves and fiber, taken apart, then
woven together, approximate limbs.
on top, instead of leaves are
a collection of pith
pounded to vellum's insubstance.

All this rests within a hillock the height of a small tree,
which most resembles the bivouacks the ants create
as they burrow underground.
Thursday, June 24th, 2004
6:14 pm
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004
6:25 pm
Dream, the third of The Endless, you are in charge of the Dreaming, all imagination and creativity, everyone knows your beautiful realm, but none truly understand it. You are dark and%2
Dream, the third of The Endless, you are in charge
of the Dreaming, all imagination and
creativity, everyone knows your beautiful
realm, but none truly understand it. You are
dark and brooding, creative, and spend a lot of
time by yourself, just thinking. You are almost
as serious as Destiny, but not quite. Everyone
is enchanted by you, but you keep them all at a
distance, even when you shouldn't.

Which Endless are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
4:28 pm
How to make a eric

3 parts intelligence

3 parts self-sufficiency

3 parts leadership
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Top it off with a sprinkle of lustfulness and enjoy!
Monday, June 14th, 2004
7:00 pm
etherealsiren once kissed a bus conductor to avoid the fare!
twinofhugin has embezzled over $9,000,000 from work, and spent it all on their paramour, calli_wulffe!
nightlysentinel and nostalgic do things behind etherealsiren's back that are illegal in most of the world.
nightlysentinel has a secret fixation with butter!
twinofmunin has secret fantasies about George W. Bush...

Enter your username to dish the dirt on your friends!

12:18 pm
Drunken Singing by princeton undergrads

A group of thirteen comes from the eating club T.I. (i.e. princeton fraternities) dressed in togas. one is jesus, the other 12 are his apostles. They move in to crash another club's (Ivy) party. The other club mentioned in this song is Cottage. Bickering is the process of being selected to be in one. This is sung to The Battle Hymn of the Republic.

We’ve come to tell the story of the college of the lord
But the grapes of weath fermented in the vintage where they’re stored
So excuse us if we’re all a little drunk out of our gourd
We saints go marching on

Glory Glory we’re the fossils
Of all the Nazarene apostles
If it weren’t for Christ we’d be
Just fishermen from Galilee
So listen to our tale

Now jexux was your average ancient middle eastern male
He went to public school, but had a special holy grail
He’d rather burn in hell than go to harvard or to Yale
So the choice was pretty clear

Glory Glory God convinced him
Jesus Christ he went to princeton
He made the right decision
When he majored in religion
And the rest is history

So christ arrived on campus in the fall of year 18
The biggest man on campus that the world had ever seen
It made the other eating clubs turn jealous ivy green
When jesus chose T.I.

Glory Glory Jesus bickered
All the snotty heathens snickered
Ivy: We couldn’t take a Jew
Cottage: a carpenter won’t do
Chorus: so the lord, he joined T.I.

Jesus, Jesus, He’s a fun guy
Thanks to him we’re all alumni
There’s nothing so divine
As turning water into wine
His truth is marching on
Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
6:17 pm
Economic Serfdom:
What i mean by this is not a specific economic class. Rather, it is serfdom in the bondage aspect. When a person is tied to not land, as in the Medieval Fiefdoms, but her/his job. A person then could escape from serfdom under one master, but would not long survive in any meaning of the word without the protection of one master or another. As then, in today's context, a person cannot survive without a job, and in many instances, the same job as she/he had been.

This is done through contracts. Some contracts can not be broken because if the supporting party were to step out, the other party could claim their businesses had been hurt, their profits hobbled. Other entrapping contracts can be stock options - you don't want to get away when you would either lose your stock or be forced to sell it at reduced rates. Along with that type of contract is the retirement/pension contract, whereby a person receives monthly payments upon retirement. This is especially intrusive upon one's choices, because it very much encourages one to work at one job as long as possible, especially if the retirement plan becomes null and void if they quit and/or begin to work at another job. These amount to, nearly, a form of blackmail.

People who are already the rich [landed] elite are mostly immune from this economic bondage because their money is grounded in real estate or other relatively solid investments or accounts, and do not depend on immediate - or future - payments from their jobs.

The key here is Freedom. Freedom to determine one's own course in life and at the same time lead a happy life without scrounging for neccessities. The apparent lack of that in many people's lives today is why i term this economic [or capitalistic] serfdom.
4:57 pm
Liberty, freedom, and Terror
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
-Mahatma Gandhi

In Iraq, the united states is no only fighting terrorists, but also harassing the civilian population with searches, seizures and road blocks. We are fighting terrorism by creating terror. This is not feasible. To truly fight terrorists, we must greet them with open arms -- open minds. They must see that just as they and their kinsfolk are not monsters, that we and our society are not monsters. Hence the schools, the aid. But we, and they, do not understand, do not see. Every week, over 90% of Iraqis (according to a gallop poll in Iraq) watch TV, and most watch channels such as Al-Jazeera, which show the results of harassment and mistakes. Here in America, the media concentrates on showing the positive aspects of what american forces are doing, but devote even more time to illustrating the latest terrorist attack, although in the last few months the attention major media has given these attacks has decreased. As Lauren says, we, and they, need to be able to empathize, but both of our societies have been/are being engineered not to be able to.

The only real prison is fear, and the only real freedom is freedom from fear.
-Aung San Suu Kyi

As media psychologically separates our (humanity) two societies we naturally begin to see the other as foreign and alien, and eventually begin to think of them as second-class people, or people less worthy than themselves, perhaps even demonizing them. Look at the hate crimes perpetrated against american citizens of middle eastern ancestry or of the Islamic faith after the attacks on the WTT. Are we on the brink of a modern Apartheid?

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-Thomas Jefferson

Think of the Patriot Act. The clandestine staffing of Draft Boards. The continued existence of a Universal Draft Bill. The claimed Executive Privilege secrecy surrounding Domestic dealings in energy between Cheney and power companies like Enron, secrecy to be applied only to advance National Security. President Bush's faith initiatives, which give money only to Christian organizations. The encroachment of this latest ban on abortion on personal privacy. The Nationally Enforced Morality of homosexual marriage. The prolonged holding of American Citizens without being charged, a violation of the Constitutional right of Habeas Corpus. These are insidious methods of slowly trimming away the liberties and freedoms enjoyed by America's Citizens.
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